A Collection of Crack
by panasonic121
Summary: This is a place where I will drop little drabbles and one shots about homestuck crack ships. If you feel like a crack ship needs more love or you wants a story written about them please drop them in the reviews :) All the stories with trolls in them will be human!stuck!
1. Dave x Nepeta

A~N~ hello there :D ive decided that im going to make a collection of drabbles and one shots for homestuck crack pairings :3 if you want, you can give crack pairings that you would like to read about in the reviews or wherever :)

And with out any further adieu, DaveNep

~P~S~

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and boy, do your feet hurt. You have been walking in this forest for hours. Even though you wore your favourite green hiking boots, your feet are still aching. Maybe you could take a rest? No, you just took one five minutes ago. Still that big rock looks so inviting…

"Davie? Can we take a break? My feet hurt" you ask. He sighs and turns to face you. His platinum blonde hair is plastered to his forehead with sweat, just like your own dark blonde hair.

"Nepeta, we just took a break. Besides were so close to the house right now." he points out. That doesn't mean you feet are going to stop hurting, because you were almost home. You stare up at his sunglasses with you puppy dog eyes and whine, "You were the one who wanted to go on this fuckin' hike anyways…Fine" Dave sighs and walks towards you. You look up at him confusedly. Why is he opening his arms like he wants a hug? Suddenly, Dave bends down placing an arm behind your knees and one behind your shoulder blades, "You better fucking appreciate this, 'cause this is gonna be hella tiring" and with that you are lifted off the ground. Your arms fling around his neck and you squeak in surprise. At first he wobbles-you are scared he might drop you, but after the next few steps, he is alright. You giggle and run your fingers through his light blonde hair, contentedly.

"Thank you Davie~" You coo he just grumbles in response. It was true; you had wanted to go on a hike with your boyfriend. You went on hikes like these quite frequently, but this time you decided to go a new direction and had gotten you both lost. Thankfully, Dave had come to the rescue. Even though you pleaded him not to bring any electronics on the hike, he had snuck his phone into his pocket. He knew you were both lost, but you swore you weren't, frantically leading him deeper and deeper in to the forest by accident. Gosh darn it! Why were you so stubborn all the time? After quite some time, he eventually spoke up. He told you he had brought his phone with him. Said phone had a built-in GPS. He took the lead and headed in the correct direction, taking you both safely home. By then, however, your feet felt like they were burning and your legs probably gained five pounds of pure muscle. Your short blonde hair was sticking to the back of your neck. About twenty minutes ago, you had taken of your blue hat off, now was being used as a fan to both you and Dave.

Your feet touch the ground again. Opening your eyes-when did you close them?-you find out you are back at your house. The porch swing beckons for you both to sit down and rest, but you are both in dire need of a shower. Dave tells you that you can shower first, so you head down the hall to the bathroom. You peel your sweaty clothes off, and hop into the shower before it has the chance to heat up. Hissing at the cold, you cringe before you reach for your shampoo. The sooner you are out of the shower the better in your opinion. You have never really liked water in general. Finally, the water heats up. At this point, however, you have already finished the majority of your shower. Instead, you just stand and close your eyes, turning your face into the onslaught of warmth. You force yourself out of the warm water. It wouldn't be nice if you leave no warm water for Dave after all.

As you walk across the hallway into your shared bedroom, you yell down the hall to Dave, "Showers free!" and close the bedroom door. Looking around, you smile at the decoration. The walls are covered in drawings and paintings from the both of you. Comics lie open on the floor among pens and pencils. Thinking about it now-with the room all covered in both Dave and your favourite colours-The room reminds you of Christmas. Especially, because said colours are red and green.

You hurry over to the dresser. Opening your underwear drawer, you throw on some comfy green underwear and a bra. You really don't feel like putting on any other clothes. Despite being so cold, your wet blonde hair doesn't help either, you decide to just stay in your underclothes. Dave won't care and you sure as heck don't either. Suddenly, you hear a strange crackling noise in the other room. You grin. Now, what might this snap, crackle, and popping be coming from?

"Nepeta ponders this thought before finally making a decision. Like the brave huntress she is, she will find out what this foreign noise is!" you mutter as you slowly tip toe into the living room, "Hm? Is that…a fire? Nepeta tilts her head to the side in a cute display of confusion" you tilt your head before giggling at your antics. It seems Dave has made a fire in the fireplace. How wonderful! You pad back to your room and fill your arms with blankets and pillows. When you can't see the floor anymore, you decide you have enough and head back to the living room to dump them on the floor. You go about organizing the supplies to create a makeshift bed. After you finish, you step back t o look at your work, "Something's missing…Aha!" hurrying back to your room you grab your new sketch pad and a mechanical pencil off the floor. That should be good.

Sliding down with your face turned to the fireplace, you doodle aimlessly. Being so caught up in your work, you don't here the shower turn off, or the sound of drawers opening. All of a sudden, something falls on your back, making you squeal and try to roll over. Eventually, you are able to flip the weight off you back. You sit back and glare at Dave, "Dave! That hurt! Why are you so mean?" you whine and he only snickers in response. Slowly, you crawl back towards him and lie down next to him. You bury your face in his chest and realize that he isn't wearing a shirt. It seems he took the direction from you and is only wearing a pair of bright red boxers. You roll your eyes, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His arms find their way around your waist. He kisses your forehead. Sighing, you nuzzle his neck. You feel tired, as you should. After all you did just finish a huge hike, plus the warmth from the fire, as well as Dave, was making you sleepy.

Dave pulls you close and your eyelashes flutter on his neck. Maybe you could just close your eyes for a few seconds. After you open them you and Dave can cuddle more!

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you just fell asleep with your head resting on your boyfriend's chest.

~P~S~

A~N~ so, there it is! I hope you enjoyed it! If you'd like to request a crack pairing that you would like a story for and maybe a prompt, just drop them off in the reviews J remember, it has to be homestuck though ;) Thank you for reading! Next chapter is going to be about the ship,


	2. Gamzee x Aradia

A~N~ Hello there :D its me again J here is the second chapter/second story. The ship that will occur in this story will be Gamzee x Aradia as requested~ *sorry if I am ooc ahah ^.^;;*

Disclaimer~ I should have added this in my other chapter as well, but oh well :D I am not the amazing Andrew Hussie. He is not me.

~~Panasonic~~

Your name is Aradia Megido and you don't have any idea as to what you are going to do with all these pillows. Give them away as presents? Just barely half an hour ago you were in the middle of your very favourite Indiana Jones movie, at your very favourite part when your boyfriend walked into the room. He proclaimed, "Get your standin' up on, Sis. We're gonna go have some motherfuckin' fun" whatever that meant. Leaving no room for argument, you were suddenly pulled to your feet. Already, you were longing to just lye on the couch and finish, but you instead-against your better judgment-throw on a pair of comfy shoes, grab some shoes for your boyfriend, and head out the door. Just as you expected, there stood Gamzee, staring up at the sky, bare feet being stabbed by pebbles. Not that he noticed or anything.

You grin and quietly walk up behind him, maybe you could scare him? Grinning even wider, you ready yourself to…

"Boo! Damn it…" you could have sworn you had him that time. Instead of jumping like you thought he would, Gamzee lazily turned his head to smile at you.

"Hey, Ara-sis, I seem to have up and lost my motherfucking shoes" confusion painted his face and you sigh knowingly. You hand him the shoes you brought him. Immediately, his indigo eyes lit up childishly, "Whoa, Aradia. That was motherfuckin' miraculous, all conjuring up shoes and shit." You chuckle a bit, before replying.

"So what is this fun you said we were going to have?"

"Ah yeah, that's motherfuckin' right!" Gamzee remembered, "It's a motherfuckin' surprise. Just follow me" he quickly puts on his shoes. Without even waiting for you, he begins to walk away. Your boyfriend is a handful that's for sure.

As you hurry to catch up with him, you try to question, yet again, what you two are going to do. Still the only answer to get is, "A mother fucking surprise" and then he winks at you. You were beginning to get irritated when suddenly, Gamzee stops walking, so abruptly that you smack right into his back, "We're motherfucking here" Gamzee announces. Looking up, you wonder how this place would qualify as 'something fun'. In front of you stands a huge Bed Bath and Beyond store.

Gamzee takes your hand and begins dragging you into the store. Curiosity finally gets the best of you and you let yourself be pulled through aisles of dishes and kitchen ware, while you tripped over your feet. Quick idea, what if Gamzee slowed down? You're falling over back here! Eventually, he stops walking. You look around to see that you are standing smack dab in the pillow aisle, "Oh yes, the fun is rushing through my veins. I am so excited to be in the pillow department. Gamzee what are we doing here?" I asked sarcastically.

"We're havin' some motherfucking fun is what we're doing" your boyfriend replied. He walked over to one of the shelves and plucked a couple puffy pillows from the shelf, "Grab whatever you like and come over here" Gamzee walked over to a space between two shelves, just barely big enough to fit you both. You grab yourself two pillows from the nearest shelf. As you walk over to Gamzee, you admire the pillows you chose. They are such a pretty shade of maroon, your favourite colour.

You sit down beside you boyfriend. Taking the pillows from you, he sets them down beside him before standing up to grab a few more. You still have no idea what is going on. At least you had no idea until Gamzee sat back down after dumping armloads of pillows on the floor, "Now get you al the movin' out of you 'cause I need you to not move till I motherfuckin' say" Gamzee warned, but it didn't come off as a warn, what with the lazy smile on his face. Still you kept stock still as you watched him go about fussing with the pillows. Concentration was scattered idly across his features.

It wasn't until he had finished the first two walls that you realized what this 'something fun' was, "Gamzee, can I help build the fort too?" You asked giving a big eyed smile. He agreed wholeheartedly. Soon the fourth wall was almost complete. Here you were, in this small corner of Bed Bath and Beyond, with your boyfriend making a pillow fort.

Suddenly, one of the walls comes crashing in. In front of you stands an angry looking employee. He frowns at you before saying, "If you are not going to buy anything, I ask that you kindly leave the store. It is against store policy to 'play' with unbought merchandise."

"Who says we weren't gonna all get up and buy all this? Maybe I was" Gamzee said indignantly. Sure he had lots of money, but you don't think his parents would be very proud to find out that he had just spent almost more than one hundred dollars on decorative pillows. Still, Gamzee loaded his arms up with as much pillows as he could, telling you to grab the rest. At first it was a bit of a struggle. Pillows kept falling from the top of the pile, to the floor, but finally you made it to the cash register. Gamzee paid for the pillows. All the while, the grumpy employee stood, staring in shock as he watched us buy the decorations.

All was quiet as we loaded a cart with filled bags, and quiet still as we made you way out the door. Though, when you got a certain distance from the store a small chuckle escapes you. Gamzee joins in snickering a bit.

By the time you got back to the house, you were both laughing to hard to open the door correctly.

Your name is Aradia Megido and today, you had fun

~~PS~~

AN~ that was fun to write J sorry if there are any mistakes *I think I keep switching from past tense to present tense xD*, its 1221am right now and I am tired. A word to the wise, don't eat pickles before bed eurgh I feel like Im gonna be sick D: this was a really weird chapter sorry I just don't…..ship..them? anyways have a good night/day 3


	3. Dave x Feferi

AN~ Thanks for all the requests and reviews J this chapter is going to be about Feferi x Dave as per request. If you want to request a scenario/prompt as well, feel free, because im just making stories at random ahah. Enjoy :D

Disclaimer~ Nope, I still don't own homestuck. It is instead owned by the magnificent beast we call the wild 'Hussie'

~~Panasonic~~

Your name is Feferi Peixes and you just ran into a wall for the second time today. Not because your vision is blurry. No not at all. You just didn't see the wall there! Okay fine. You really need to get your eyes checked. Just yesterday alone, you stubbed your toes so many times you lost count, almost knocked over your fishbowl while reaching for the fish food, and walked into about ten walls! You could barely see and needed glasses, but you were sure 'the cool kid' Dave, your boyfriend would make fun of you for wearing them.

Speaking of Dave, said person was already starting to notice something was wrong. Well, of course he was! You could barely walk two steps without knocking something over! You tried to hide it as much as possible, but seriously wasn't that wall just over to the left a little? Well apparently, it wasn't, as shown by the probable chance of a bruise on your forehead. Ugh, you such a klutz!

You come up with a plan. While Dave is out at work, you will call up your childhood friend, Sollux. Maybe he'll be able to drive you to the nearest eye doctor. If all else fails you guess you can call Eridan, but you hope Sollux is free. Both are your friends for sure and you try your hardest not to be mean, but Eridan is bit self-centred in your opinion.

Anyway, Dave works at a shop a few blocks from your house, selling CD's and other music goodies. He should be leaving for work soon.

As if you had cued him, Dave-or you think it's him, all you can see is a blob of white and red-descends into where you are in the living room. Giving you a quick kiss goodbye, he says, "Try not to walk into any other walls aright, Fef? I'll be back home at six thirty" with that, your boyfriend walks out the door. As soon as the door closes, the smile drops from your face.

Your blind friend once described how she used the phone to you a long time ago, time to see if you still remember. After at least four attempts, Sollux finally answers the phone, instead of some stranger who you accidentally called, "Hey, Thollucth thpeaking?" he lisps.

"Sollux you have to help me! I need to get to the nearest eye doctor pronto!" You explain your dire need for glasses to him.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down there FF. I'll be right over, yeesh" Sollux hangs up soon after. You get throw on your favourite pink jacket-you think- and a pair of flats- you hope. You sit down on the thing nearest to you, which is probably the coffee table or something, waiting for Sollux.

When the doorbell finally rings, you run over and grab the door knob. Or should you say, you ran over to the door and punched it. You hold your hand to your chest as you feel around the door for the doorknob. That was such a better idea; you should have known you would miss the doorknob on the first try. You open the door and reveal a shocked looking Sollux.

"What the fuck just happened in there?" Sollux asks, disbelievingly, "You jutht full out bitch thlapped the fucking door, FF, what'th going on"

"I can't see"

"I thought ath much, altho you're wearing two different thoeth. Not that I mind im doing the thame thing, but I didn't think you were into that" mismatched…shoes? You groan.

"Sollux, I need help."

"Yeah, whatever" He walks past you, into your house, "The other thoe is in the clothet right here. You really can't thee worth thit can you" Sighing he hand you the shoe, tapping your right foot with his own, "Take off thith thoe, it'th the unmatching one" Feeling grateful, you slip of your right shoe and put on the one in your hand.

"Okay! Let's head out! Thanks for helping, Sollux!" You chirp. He takes you hand, leading you out to his car. His hand leaves yours, so that he can get in the car. Feeling around, you find the door handle. Perfect, no injuries here. You open the door and proudly go to sit down, only to knock your head on he car roof. Oh glub… You hear Sollux chuckle slightly in the driver's seat and tell him to shut up. You pull the seatbelt over and Sollux latches for you.

The whole drive is spent in silence, as Sollux concentrates on the roads. About ten minutes-you can't read the clock to tell- later, the car stops. Sollux tells you you're here, ushering you out of the car, "I gueth I have to take you 'cauthe your vithionth tho fucked up. Thith ith going to be tho boring" He groans and you huff as he leads you into what you assume is the optometrist building.

"Hello, would you like to book an appointment?" asks a voice in front of you. Must be the secretary, so that means the front desk should be just up he-Ow! You stub your toe, falling to the ground to clutch your foot.

"Yes please. My name is Feferi Peixes." You hiss from the floor.

"Alright, Miss Peixes please take a seat. You will be called in shortly" She tells you. You hobble over to a seat and plop down.

What feels like ive minutes later, you name is called. Standing up, carefully make your way over to the splotch of white, who you think is a doctor. Now begin the tests.

~~PS~~

"Hey Sollux, I'm done!" you call as you exit the room, "Now we need to go to the store next door" The store directly beside the optometrist, just so happened to be a Lens Crafters. How convenient! A quiet snore from the splotch, you really hope its Sollux, shows that they are asleep. Quietly, you tip toe over to them and sit on top of them. Sollux gasps for air and pushes you away. Giggling, you repeat the need to go to the next store. As you are led out of the optometrist, you hear Sollux mutter something about why he was friends with you. You laugh at him, "I heard that you know!"

"Good. Anywayth, we're here"

"Great! I want some pink glasses! Can you help me find some? Like, pink oval shaped glasses, kinda like goggles!" You say excitedly.

"Whatever, I'm gonna get you a shop assistant." He leaves you where you are, but soon comes back with a new splotch.

"Hello, how can I help you?" A chipper voice asks.

"Hi! Do you have any pink oval-ly glasses? I would LOVE to have some pink oval-ly glasses" you hope Dave will like your choice. The shop assistant tell you they have just what you are looking for and walk off to get them. Sollux grabs your wrist and drags you in the direction of where the assistant went.

"How do these work for you?" the assistant suggests, placing a pair of glasses in your hand. Gently, you put them on and turn to Sollux for his opinion. His hum of appreciation is enough to say they work fine. At least you hope you interpreted hat hum right. You tell the assistant you will take them, "Perfect, the will be ready with your prescription in one hour. Please come back then!"

You decide to just stay at the store until they are finished with the glasses. Even if you don't like them, you have enough money to get another pair if need be, so you aren't worried.

~~PS~~

One hour later, you walk up to the front desk, with help from Sollux of course. This time you don't stub your toe. A glasses case is handed to you and you pay for them. Sollux leads you over to a mirror, as you unzip the glasses case. You gently pick up the glasses, making sure not to scuff up the lenses, and place them on your face. You are taken aback by how clear everything suddenly is, and you love it. No more running into walls for you! And on top of it all the glasses are perfect! Just what you were hoping for! Now you proudly pull out your phone to look at the time, without help from Sollux. Oh crap. Its six twenty five! Dave will be home any moment.

You mentally screech as you grab Sollux' arm, dragging him out to the car.

The whole way home you ramble and fret about what Dave will think. Oh god, he's going to think you're such a geek! Sollux sopped listening when you first got in the car. Dave's car is already in front of the house when you get back. Your stomach feels like a bunch of fish swimming frantically in too small of a bowl. Taking your time, you slowly get out of the car and walk up the steps to the house. Oh goodness. The door swung open before you touched the doorbell. It was Dave.

"Hey Fef, what's that on your face?" he asks. You freeze up, "Because you're lookin' mighty fine in those glasses" Oh god he was just teasing. You laugh and reply, "I finally got to the optometrist to get my eyes checked out. Turns out I was in need of some glasses super fast! So I got Sollux to take me!" You explain

"I thought you needed glasses"

"You did?" so you went through days of walking into walls and feeling embarrassed for nothing?

"Yep, I was going to take you after work today, but I guess that was already covered. I think I'm jealous of Sollux, Feferi. This is a horrible feeling. I think I may need to go to the hospital. Call an ambulance quick" you laugh at his antics and hug him tight.

"Thanks, Dave! Love you!"

"Heh, love you too babe"

Your name is Feferi Peixes and you can finally tell what your boyfriend looks like again.

~~PS~~

AN~HAHA! FEFERI AWWWW I DON'T USUALLY EVEN LIKE YOU BUT I LIKE THIS YOU BECAUSE I PROBABLY SUCKED SO BAD AT WRITING AS HER JDKLASJD TTO MUCH SOLLUX NOT ENOUGH DAVE IM HORRIBLE SORRY. SOLUX AND HER ARE SIPLY PALE HERE OK NOTHING MORE. i have horrible writing block kind of also i dont ship this ahah thats why its horrible yep


	4. John x Feferi

AN~ oh gosh im so sorry D: I wasn't really sure what to write for this chapter and then ended up just not doing it : ( I really have a kind of excuse tho! I was at camp last week and im currently doing 4 hours of swimming lessons a day soooo. but here it is now! Sorry its kinda short but here have some Feferi x John : )

~~Panasonic~~

Your name is Feferi Peixes and you are so super excited to be moving in with your boyfriend. Today you both had decided to paint the room that you're going to be staying in-you get to pick the colour, of course. John and you had just been to the hardware store and chosen the most perfect shade of fuchsia you could find! (John thought the colour was kind of obnoxious, but that doesn't matter) While at the hardware store, you had picked up some paintbrushes and roller brushes to paint with.

Now you both stand in your new room, not saying a word to each other, as you are both concentrating really hard. The only noise in the room is the radio playing some song in the background. One wall was already finished painting, so you two were painting the next. Geez…This was boring. You want to ask John to take a break, but he looks so concentrated on painting.

You slowly move closer to John, dragging your paintbrush across the wall. Trying to look as innocent as possible, you casually trace a line up John's arm. He looks down at you from behind his glasses, blinking a few times. Gradually a grin spreads across his face, such a grin that you actually rethink doing that to him. But you don't have too much time to worry because; suddenly there is something wet running down your forehead, and you don't have to be a genius to know what it is. A smirk crosses your features. Oh it is _on. _

You dunk your paintbrush in the hot pink paint, and push it into his chest, leaving a big pink spot. Placing your hands on your hips, you challenge him silently. He leans down to his pot of paint, dunking his fingers into it, and spreading paint onto his cheeks like war paint. Giggling slightly you lean down to do the same thing. While painting your face, he takes the opportunity to streak paint up your back and neck. You shiver and slowly soak your brush, before whipping around and splattering the paint across his shoulders.

By now, the floor is slick with bright fuchsia paint. You are both having trouble walking. Thank _goodness_ you remembered to cover the floor in a tarp before you began painting!

As you struggle over to John, trying not to slip and fall. A glint flashes in his eyes. He bends over, still grinning at you, and picks up his paint can. Your eyes widen, as you hastily pick up your own. Anticipating each other's movements, you both dump the paint from both cans on top of each other's heads.

You wipe the paint off your glasses, with one finger, giggling. When you see what he looks like, you start laughing even more. You watch as he attempts to wipe his own glasses off on his t-shirt, to no avail. His shirt, once blue, is now almost completely pink. The paint on his glasses smears, but he puts them on anyways, blinking at you. A smile breaks onto his face. He bursts out laughing. Extending an arm, he leans up against the wall, but the wet paint just makes him fall flat onto the floor. This just makes you both laugh harder. You laugh so hard that your knees go weak, collapsing beneath you.

You name is Feferi Peixes and you think you and your boyfriend are both done painting for today.

AN~Again im so sorry this is late I just cant write as either Feferi or john ^.^;; but here it is! Ill try to get the next chapter out soon!


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